Update: I Stayed Committed
At the beginning of every year my church does a fast. This is for physical and spiritual cleansing. This year we chose to do the Daniel Fast. So for the first 21 days of the new year I went on a Vegan fast. After the first week on the fast I was beginning to feel the benefits. My skin was clearer, my focus was better, and I had more energy. I felt so good during the fast that I made the decision to keep up most of the practices even after the fast was over. I committed to no meat and very little dairy.
Well as life would have it, the day after the fast was over it was my husband’s birthday. On the 23rd we went out to celebrate by eating at his favorite restaurant. That’s when panic started to set in. This would be my first time going out to eat in almost a year mostly due to the pandemic; and not only were we going out to eat but we were celebrating as well which means drinks, lots of food, and dessert. None of which lines up with my newly committed lifestyle.
This was also bringing up flashbacks of the past. Normally after a fast I would already have a plan of exactly how I was going to break the fast and it usually consisted of a lot of bad unhealthy choices. One time I even threw a “Break the Fast” party that included pizza, mozzarella sticks, soda, and of course various sweets. Needless to say keeping up with the food practices of my fast has not been a priority in the past. But this time was going to be different. This time I had made up my mind that I was going to stay committed to my new way of eating.
So as the server handed us our menu I immediately started looking for the vegetarian options. There weren’t many. So I decided to get the veggie burger, with a salad to start, and water with lemon to drink. Whew… I had done it! I had made the healthier decision. I was feeling pretty confident about it. And then… dessert came.
DUH DUH DUHHHN!
This was it, my make or break it moment. Would I fold and give in or stay strong and committed?
When the lava cake arrived it looked better than I remembered. The chocolate syrup seemed to glisten off of the plate while the ice cream could only be described as deliciously tantalizing. As the server sat down the two spoons designated for us to consume this beautiful calorie filled dessert, I took a deep breath. I grabbed the spoon and began to eat. After 5 small bites something miraculous happened. I put down the spoon, pushed the plate away and said, “That’s enough for me, you can have the rest.” Now, I know for some of you this doesn’t seem like a big deal, but for me this was HUGE. I have NEVER pushed a plate away. I have always been the one pulling the plate closer. This was a major breakthrough and victory for me. Pushing the plate away meant that there truly had been a change. And not just a physical change, but a mental one as well. I was no longer held hostage by the desires of my taste buds, but I was now free to enjoy without overindulging. A line I never knew before.
I. WAS. FREE!! And it felt great.
What now?
Well, now I plan to enjoy my new found freedom. I will remain committed to my journey while I take it one day at a time, one meal at a time. I won’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of itself. (Matt. 6:34)